HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2016

I have spent the day thinking about and remembering Ken and doing things we would have done had he been with us. It's past midnight now, so technically not still the day of his birth, but I am going to write about him and his special day. After all, I think about and remember him every day, but especially on his birthday. Last night I baked a pan of brownies, something that was Ken's favorite, and they smelled so good. Everyone was looking forward to having them for dessert and were waiting all night and all day to get to enjoy them for him. I made his favorite meal, a big pot of chicken tortilla soup for supper, and we thought about how much he would have enjoyed it. I know we did. I had also bought ice cream and rootbeer for floats. I remember how every once in a while he would surprise me and the kids by bringing home everything to make floats. All of these things, and many more, remind us of him. One reason I started these posts was to keep the memory of Ken Davis alive. It is so sad and hard to think as time goes by how the person you love so much just fades from people's memories. Everyone's lives just continue on, as they should, but my life as it was is just gone. Time for me stopped the day Ken's heart stopped. It is strange how the last five years doesn't even seem real. When I think of things that happened in the past there is a five-year gap, and I have to think hard about it to realize it was 5 years ago longer than I am thinking. I just want to hang on to every memory I can. I took flowers out to the cemetery this evening. I like to take a new arrangement every few months, especially on his birthday. I have mentioned before how when I see the name Ken Davis on the tombstone, I always get a pain in the pit of my stomach and think, "How could this be? This should not be!" Today while I was there, I was feeling this same feeling, and I got to thinking about why I felt this way. I realized that it's like looking at your own name on your own tombstone. I am Mrs. Ken Davis, we were one flesh, so it's like looking at my own grave. That does cause a pain way down in the pit of your stomach. And it does feel like it just should not be. I was looking forward to years together, to growing old together. In fact I actually had a box of napkins not used at our wedding reception with our names and wedding date printed on them that I was saving to use at our 50th wedding anniversary. That is the natural order of life, though as in our case, not always God's order or plan. Who knows, maybe we will get to spend our 50th in heaven together. Then it will be perfect! Everyone who knew Ken very well knew of his love for lighthouses. I have one attached to the flower vase at his grave. Seeing it today made me start thinking about how he loved them and what ignited that passion in him. There is an old song that he used to sing in that beautiful deep voice of his that is called "The Lighthouse." The song talks about Jesus being the Lighthouse, so it is only natural that he loved Jesus so much, any lighthouse reminded him of the One he loved, Here are the words to the song "The Lighthouse": Verse 1: There's a lighthouse on the hillside that overlooks life's sea. When I'm tossed it sends out a light that I might see. And the light that shines in darkness now will safely lead me home. If it wasn't for the lighthouse, my ship would sail no more. Chorus: And I thank God for the Lighthouse, I owe my life to Him. Jesus is The Lighthouse and from the rocks of sin, He has shown the light around me, so that I might clearly see. If it wasn't for The Lighthouse, where would this ship be? Verse 2: Everyone that lives around us, says tear that old lighthouse down, the big ships don't sail this way anymore, ain't no use in it standing round. But then my mind goes back to that stormy night, when just in time I saw the light. With the light from that old lighthouse, that stands there on a hill. Chorus: And I thank God for The Lighthouse, I owe my life to Him. Jesus is The Lighthouse and from the rocks of sin, He has shown the light around me, so that I might clearly see. If it wasn't for The Lighthouse, Where would this ship be? Ending: If it wasn't for The Lighthouse, (tell me) where would this ship be? We know the answer to that question. His ship, with the Light from The Lighthouse, made it safely Home! Happy Birthday! I love you now and forever!!